Yes, yes. I know that many of us think the title makes no sense, but we’ve got to address this. Persons are walking around emotionally constipated, and that is causing seeds of bitterness and hatred to flourish.
Many persons are raised to somehow stifle themselves. They’re told basically that they don’t have a right to be angry, based on someone else’s deduction. However, these things are relative. You can’t tell somebody how they must feel based on what YOU think. You’re two different people.
So, we raise individuals who just don’t know how to express themselves, and when they do allow that to happen, it comes out in huge bursts – more often than not, destructive bursts.
We continue as a nation to also complain about the levels of violence and crime, but we seldom acknowledge how the society itself has been shaped. I’m not excusing the rapist, the murderer, the thief, or the arsonist. I’m saying though that a lot of these incidents are committed by persons who are mentally unstable, and not properly exposed to emotional healing. The men are raised to believe that they must not cry because that’s a sign of weakness. They’re shown how they must act when they’re angry, apparently, and when they fall short of that, they’re made to feel like they’re an alien for the emotions they feel, especially when they’re deeply hurt about something.
So, why do we think they’re smoking things to disconnect them from feeling? Why do we think they consciously work on being seen as emotionless?
Then there’s the young lady who is just dubbed as being too intense or too emotional when she gets upset and that she has no right to feel the way she does because everybody goes through something. Inadvertently though, more often than not, females do tend to show ‘attitude’ when they’re upset, which is never a good look. But, instead of condemning them and ostracizing them, why don’t we teach them different ways that they can channel the anger so that they don’t harm themselves and others?
I could go deeper, but I think it’s important to speak on the subject itself, quickly.
We need to build a culture where there is shared understanding that people get upset. Not a eureka moment, it’s just a fact. It’s how you channel that anger that makes the difference. There’s a difference between the person that chooses to kill the person that mocked them for being slow in school, versus the person who chooses to put in extra hours of studying and cause that mocker to eat their words.
Maybe that scenario sounds too idealistic and cookie cutter-esk. However, I believe the point still stands. We need to stop dictating how others should behave based on our own evaluation of things, and find a way to encourage the healthy outpouring of negative emotions in a way that can be spun into something positive.
We can’t keep writing people off because we choose not to acknowledge that something deeper is going on with them. Many difficult scenarios will take place and already have, and so it’s hard to say “Yes, we should” when we are hurting tremendously as a nation.
But, a reality is that if we don’t start actively trying to fix the culture by working on the minds of our people, we’re in for some more dark days.
I’ll also, in this moment, encourage you to recognize that emotions are normal. Anger is normal. The defining moment, however, is the moment you choose to not let the anger rule you. You have the power over your body, mind and soul. Own it.
|| Niala Dei ||